Dear Single Christian Women, Please Stop Waiting…

I am not about to tell you to stop waiting for a godly man, or to compromise your standards. In fact, I am joining you in waiting for the best that God has. However, I do want to encourage you to stop waiting.

I grew up believing the false idea that marriage would be the moment my life would begin. The idea that I wouldn’t be really fully be valuable to God until I could be held accountable for a husband. I had this picture perfect idea of what my life would look like.  I would turn 18, get married to Prince Charming and thus the exciting life would begin.  But 18 came and went with absolutely no guy in sight. Years have gone by and, in spite of my sometimes desperate prayers, still no man. Yet, I watched friend after friend meet someone, fall in love and get married. And there I was left to fight my discontentment and disappointment.

Long have I been fighting this feeling that my life was on hold or stuck in limbo until I met my husband. It seemed to me my friends would meet their spouse and become somehow “better” than me. Jealousy seeped in as I wished my life could look like theirs. The feeling that I was lagging behind weighed heavily on me. As they all rushed forward and started families; I was still alone and begging God for a change.

But here is the thing… I put way to much emphasis on a relationship. I am guilty of believing that I was not equal to others who were wives. I thought my identity was glued to being single. I felt my value was less than because I wasn’t accountable to a husband. I watched as the church culture seemed to look down upon young single women, and view me as immature because I was “not ready” yet.  I believed that God couldn’t use me until I was married.

I believed some of this partially due to my fear. Fear I would not be strong enough to live boldly for Christ without a husband to encourage me.  That I wouldn’t have someone to hold my hand and fight on my team in this journey towards growing closer to Christ. Because let’s be real, loving Jesus can be hard and messy. So single ladies if I can encourage you…

Stop waiting for a man to validate you.

Stop waiting for a husband to give you purpose.

Stop believing you’re identity is in your marital status.

Because haven’t we already met that man?

Is that not the man who over 2,000 years ago showed each of us just how much we are worth? A man on a cross who showed you that your worth was so precious it cost a life. A man who has given you a purpose in His sacrifice. A man who tells you that you are a daughter of a King!

Ladies, there is a strength in singleness! You don’t have a husband to comfort you, but you have a Father who is showing you, before marriage begins, to go to Him. You have a fire to be strong, and to call upon the Lord for provision without a husband’s help. You have a comforter who knows you better than any man ever will.

“Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.” -Deuteronomy 31:6

 Be a fierce woman who is not waiting for a future husband to feel complete. Strive to learn, grow and thrive in this season.  Don’t be afraid to step out in the areas that God has called you into. And when the time comes that God brings you the precious gift of marriage it just might happen be at a place where you enjoy the fullness of what that gift means.

So no more waiting for marriage to start living a full life. Go after what God is calling you into in this season, and have courage.

“She has fire in her soul and grace in her heart.”-Anonymous  



4 thoughts on “Dear Single Christian Women, Please Stop Waiting…

  1. I loved this Carissa and I am so proud of you to be so transparent and place your heart out there to help other single Christian women realize that Jesus is that man and our identity, validity and ability all come from Him! There is no greater love then the Love relationship we can have with Christ whether married or single and to stir you on in your blog look up Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss Wolgumoth as she wrote a nugget called Singled Out For Him they sell and she just married for the first time in her 50’s:) She is a very godly woman and has been a wonderful example to many single women! Love you, Tanta Debbie


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